November Blog

Redefining Stress: A Personal Reflection

Over the years, I’ve learned that understanding stress is about so much more than knowing how the body reacts to it or how our nervous system tries to protect us. While those pieces matter, one of the most transformative parts of my own journey has been getting curious about the story I was telling myself about stress.

For a long time, I operated under a very familiar narrative, one I didn’t even know I was carrying. My inner script went something like this:

“If I’m stressed, it’s because I care. Stress means I’m working hard, striving, showing up. This pressure will help me perform, meet deadlines, and reach my goals.” It felt almost noble, like stress was proof of my commitment. But beneath that belief was something very different, not the energizing eustress that can motivate and help us perform, but exhaustion, tension, irritability, and a constant sense of urgency that left little room for joy, connection, or ease.

The more I tried to control every detail of my life, the more stress became a familiar companion. And without realizing it, that stress spilled into the environment around me. Moments at home felt more intense. I was on edge. Others felt it too. What I thought was discipline or responsibility was actually rigidity, fear, and chronic activation. My inability to let go didn’t make me stronger. It created more anxiety, more reactivity, and more suffering.

Recognizing this was uncomfortable, but it was also the beginning of change.

An Invitation to Get Curious

One of the most powerful steps in healing our relationship with stress is questioning the role it plays in our lives. Many of us have been taught—directly or indirectly—that high stress is normal, admirable, or even necessary. We associate it with productivity, success, or love.

But what if we paused long enough to ask ourselves whether this narrative is actually serving us?
What if we allowed ourselves to explore our beliefs with honesty, compassion, and no judgment?

This month, I invite you to consider the role stress plays in your life and what if any, your narrative about stress looks like. Take a breath, slow down, and see what comes up for you.

Solan, M. (2023, March 13). Slowing down racing thoughts: Calming and refocusing when anxious or negative thoughts surge through your mind [Image]. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/slowing-down-racing-thoughts-202303132901